ENVY IS A TERRIBLE THING

The world's best navigator died and went to heaven and St. Peter said; "Welcome to heaven my son, you have been the best navigator in the world and have done wonderful things for your friends, family, and country your Whole life". For that reason I am authorized to let you choose which part of heaven you would like to go to.

"Well", the navigator said, "I'd really like to go somewhere where I will never see another fighter pilot again - those guys were loud and obnoxious, and generally just a pain in the ass. I never want to have to see them, talk to them, or deal with them again ever".

St. Peter replied "It's actually not much of a problem up here, we don't ever get many of them around, but just to be sure, I have the perfect place - it is a deserted tropical island where you will never be bothered again by any fighter pilots".

The navigator went off to the island very happy. About a week later he was back at the gates demanding to see St. Peter.

"What's wrong?" St. Peter asked.

"Well", said the navigator, "I thought you said I will never have to deal with a fighter pilot again. I was walking along the beach yesterday and I looked up, and there, coming towards me, was this guy swaggering along in a flight suit and g-suit, wearing a really big wrist watch, with a girl under each arm, telling war stories that all started with "There I was...."

St. Peter looked puzzled and said; "Let me check something". He then went into his computer to check the whereabouts of both of the fighter pilots in heaven. He was still looking puzzled and then it dawned on him. "That wasn't a fighter pilot you saw yesterday". That was actually God. He sometimes likes to dress up and pretend he is a fighter pilot.